I have two kids -- a 7yo and a 4yo and they keep fighting. How do I get them to stop?

My two kids keep fighting and I'm over it!

CJ

Chels posted July 14, 2020

Ditto!! I can't get them to stop. I end up just putting them in separate rooms and not letting them play togerher because they keep getting on each other's nerves

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JF

Jeri-Lynn posted July 14, 2020

Something that's helped with mine is to assign them chores as a team, rather than separately. When they're working together to get something done it makes them get along better when they're playing and just having fun!

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LG

Leslie posted July 14, 2020

It's a natural thing for siblings to fight, but at the end of the day they mean well. It's good to have talks with them asking them why they treat each other that way. For example, open ended questions for either of the two "Why did you treat your sibling like that?" and allow them to reflect on their arguments so that the next time they do it, they'll remember what you asked and talked about and they'll think twice before doing it again.

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SR

Sabrina posted July 16, 2020

Bribery.

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Michele posted July 16, 2020

Timers when sharing things / taking turns. Even let them set it themselves 😊. Use cell phone timer or timer on microwave if you don’t have a $5 egg timer from Walmart of wherever.

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OM

Ogaridt posted July 17, 2020

Have them to work together

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Amrin posted July 25, 2020

Art/coloring competition

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Lillian posted July 27, 2020

Sit both of them down and tell them they have to resolve it now. They can pretend they are the grownup and come up with a solution. The solution has to have consequences for the different bad exchanges between them. My mother use to have family meeting once a week with us and our consequences were harsher than hers would have been. It teaches kids that they have control over their choices, and to learn to get along. It also get you out of being a referee stuck in the middle of it.Separating them during the day will also help to give them space to do their own thing. One can be reading quietly in their room while you read to the other. Think of activities you can do with the older child while the little one is coloring, playing with blocks? Then you can spend time with them individually. Kids are kids they will always compete for your attention.

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FS

Firoza posted September 5, 2020

Don’t take sides. Calmly walk away telling them when they have solved their issues they can let you know. Tell them you want to learn from them because they are so well when it comes to resolving the issues. Don’t separate them, they will learn (sooner than you think) that having a “friend” 24/7 is a blessing. You can make up some stories about lonely child. Kids love to annoy their parents/adults, completely ignore and pretend to stay busy. Don’t forget to praise when (even rarely) they are civilized with each other. To reduce stress use sense of humor. It will pass! Before you will know they will be out to college!

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JO

Juliet G Greta Kabukuor posted September 30, 2020

Here are 10 important rules that will help you build a good relationship between your children

1. if you can not interfere in the conflict – do not interfere. Give the children the opportunity to settle the quarrel on their own.
2. if children come to You with a complaint about each other – say "Sort it out, please, yourself." Wait and see what happens.
3. if You still feel that it is necessary to intervene in the conflict, remember that your main task is to help children find a way out of the conflict together and come to an agreement.

4. do not take the side of one of the children, assigning it to the "right" in the conflict. Each of the children considers themselves right and injured.
5. make physical contact with your children. Sit down on their level and put your hands on each child's back (shoulder).
6. Help each child to explain what happened. Let everyone tell their own version of what happened. Help them talk and not interrupt each other.
7. ask how the children want to proceed, how they Are going to make up or share what the quarrel is about. What are their suggestions?
8. help us come to a common solution. The option should suit everyone.
9. If your children don't have any ideas, offer them your own solutions to the situation.
10. if children do not want to negotiate, both children are placed "In the same boat", that is, they experience the same and unfavorable consequences.

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Alicia posted January 13, 2022

I have that same issue I have two boys a seven year old who will be eight in April and a 12 year old will be 13 in August they do not get along at all. What I’ve learned and what I’ve done and stop doing was buying them separate things I bought them things that they could play with together versus buying them separate video game systems and different video games or different types of toys etc. I bought them things that they both can enjoy together and that helped out a lot because now I have no problem I mean I wish I could’ve done it sooner but hey we’re only parents and it doesn’t come with a handbook. Also asking the oldest what’s the problem nine times out of 10 it’s just wanting to be the only child again having to cater to a younger sibling is a lot more different to an older sibling just making them both understand that you love them both and they shouldn’t be fighting. Hope it helps.

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Zohreh posted November 9, 2023

Taking with bout of them and tell I love them equally and share them to do something about each other's

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My two kids keep fighting and I'm over it!

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