I want to talk about parenting style with my partner, but it's hard!

Aurora posted June 10, 2020

Hey mama's. I want to talk with my partner about how we're going to be as parents before our little one is born. Of course we've talked about it but I am trying to bring logistics more into focus like splitting up childcare and housework etc. Any suggestions?!

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Shonda posted June 10, 2020

Hey Aurora! This may sound intense, but my partner and I use a spreadsheet to track responsibilities. We've actually been using it a lot more during COVID since we're both at home and my baby is 5 now, but I think it could be a game changer w an infant!!! Just a suggestion :)

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Patricia posted June 10, 2020

I hear you!!! Before the baby is born is hard because nothing seems as real. Books? Media? Talks with relatives and friends? Start planting seeds and making it clear that you want the convo to be serious and not as casual!

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Connie posted June 16, 2020

You need to be on the same page. Parenting needs to be consistent. Always back each other, so the child doesn’t play you against each other.

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Meghan posted June 16, 2020

My best advice is don’t expect your partner to magically change after you have kids. How do you currently divide housework? Is it 50/50? Does he pitch in without being asked? You should have expect the same distribution of work after the baby is born.

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Aliza posted June 17, 2020

I tried this too but the first few months are about survival. If you put dishes on your list and laundry on his and one of you “fails” you’re setting yourself up for arguments. Make a list of everything that needs to be done like taking out the trash, paying bills, cooking, grocery shopping but don’t put names next to them. It’s so you don’t forget anything important when you guys are sleep deprived. Try not to keep track of how much more you do than your partner. Because I guarantee it’s going to feel like that! If there’s some things your insistent you want to do (like drs appts and feedings) let your partner take over baths and tummy time.

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Sherell posted June 18, 2020

You could both get a sheet of paper. On one side write down what you would like to happen. On the other side write down what you don't want to happen. Both of to exchange papers. Take the time to go over your partners answers. Once you all are done, talk about the results. Have another paper ready, write down the things you all agree about on one side, and the things to do not agree on another. It will help give you all an understanding of where you stand. Couples will not agree on everything, but if you can talk about it, and find common ground that works for the both of you, you all will be fine. Do not stress the little things. First timers are always nerves they will mess up. No one is perfect and no one way works for all. Find what works best for your family.

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Amrin posted April 17, 2021

This is a time for u and partner to bond with your baby. Dishes and duties are secondary
Baby has to feel the love in the home. Your main challenge will be feeding the baby, late nights, sleep training.
Do everything on auto setting, dishes u eat in, make a rinse bath..to set aside for loading it in later.
Keep are where baby and your partner - the most organized space that everything is logical.. and organized so u both know where things are and can think clearly under any sort of stress. Prep for weekly loads.. baby stuff has to be free of strong solutions so take over baby stuff, hubby goes regular laundry. Have formula ready to go in bottles that warm water does the trick but if breast feeding.. watch Working mom on Netflix and get some ideas together ( humorously)

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I want to talk about parenting style with my partner, but it's hard!

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